The Power of Embracing Your Emotions
The Power of Embracing Your Emotions
June 12, 2023
By Marta Kagan
Have you ever noticed how when someone asks, "How are you?" we often respond with a simple, "Fine."
But deep down, are we ever really just "fine"?
We are complex beings, experiencing a myriad of emotions—happiness, sadness, gratitude, fear, discomfort, shame, frustration, impatience (to name a few)—often all at once.
But we’ve been taught to pretend we’re “fine,” even when we rarely are.
So we shut our emotions down. We disconnect from them and from our bodies. We avoid, we numb, we repress… and we carry on.
And then something super trivial—like a missing sock or an empty container of milk—sends us into a rage or a crying jag.
Sound familiar?
The truth is that when you bury your feelings, you bury them alive.
And they’re going to fight back. Because they’re meant to be FELT. That’s why they’re called FEELings. Not ‘avoidings’ or ‘numbings’ or ‘repressings.’
Throw a party for your emotions
The key to feeling GOOD starts with the word FEELING. You have to FEEL in order to HEAL.
So instead of bottling up your emotions and pretending like everything is “fine,” I invite you to celebrate them; to throw a goddamn PARTY for them!
I first discovered this method for embracing (and celebrating) emotions in a book by Regena Thomashauer—aka “Mama Gena.” Mama Gena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts. And she calls this method, Swamping.
Swamping, according to Mama Gena, is “deliberately choosing to feel every drop of emotion.”
You’re not pretending that everything is fine. Instead, you’re connecting to your emotional truth, and as a result, you’re allowing yourself TO FEEL vibrantly alive.
“Swamping provides a pathway to reconnect with the full expression of our emotional selves.”
—Mama Gena
Here’s how to do it:
Create a Swamping playlist.
Choose three songs that tap into the core emotions of rage, grief, and joy (one song for each). Or if you like, you can download this playlist that I’ve created for you and choose your three favorites from it (or just hit ‘Shuffle Play’).Slip into something comfortable. You’re going to MOVE YOUR BODY, so wear something that doesn’t restrict movement. Go for comfort, not fashion.
Hit PLAY and allow your body to move to the music. FEEL ALL THE FEELS. Welcome them. Embody them. This isn’t about showing off your dance moves—it’s about expressing yourself. Jump, roll, flail, punch the air (or a pillow), kick, shake… or whatever feels right to you for each song.
Use your body and your voice! Feel free to scream, growl, sing, sob—or whatever comes up for you. All feelings, movements, and sounds are welcome.
Make sure you end with a song that makes you feel JOYFUL. Or hopeful. Or even sexy! Let the finale of your Swamping session light your inner fire and leave you ready to take on whatever comes next.
You can Swamp alone or with friends (or family). I’ve found that having a few ‘witnesses’ (who also take a turn Swamping) can make the experience even more impactful. But feel free to try Swamping solo at first.
After all, this is YOUR party. You can cry if you want to.
