How Long Does it Really Take to Build a Habit? The Truth Behind the 21-Day Rule
How Long Does it Really Take to Build a Habit?
Mar 3, 2023
By Marta Kagan
We’ve all heard the conventional wisdom about building ‘healthy habits.’ But what does it actually take to build (or break) a habit? Exceptional willpower? Twenty-one days of hardcore commitment?
Let’s take a look at what the science says, so we can separate fact from fiction ——and set you up for success.
The Truth About Your Habits
Habits are automatic behaviors that don’t require thinking—like when your mom calls you for dinner. You don't need to think about it, you just get up and go to the table.
According to a 2006 study at Duke University, habits account for about 40 percent of our behaviors on any given day. Some habits (like brushing your teeth) contribute to your well-being, (and some (like smoking) can have a negative effect.
And then there’s those habits that seem harmless (like scrolling through social media when you wake up in the morning), but may actually be harmful if you connect the dots between the behavior and their longer-term impact.
The tricky part is this: habits form when you’re rewarded for a behavior (we’ll get into the specifics of ‘rewards’ in the next section). Which means that just like Pavlov’s dogs, many of our habits are formed without our conscious awareness.
How Habits Are Formed
Before we debunk the myths that make building (or breaking) a habit seem so difficult, we need to understand how they form in the first place.
Here are the key facts:
Habits are triggered by environmental cues (such as location, time of day, or a particular sound, like the ‘ding’ of your phone’s notification system). Each of these cues is like a neon sign telling your brain, "Hey, we're in thiscontext now, time to execute this ritual!"
Habits are formed when you get a ‘reward’ for a particular behavior. And by “reward,” I don’t mean a trophy or a check for a million dollars. I mean you get a hit of dopamine—the neurotransmitter that plays a key role in motivation.
The dopamine response exists to keep us alive, not happy. In fact, making you ‘happy’ goes against the very nature of the dopamine response. If you’re happy, you stop ‘seeking.’ If you’re bored or dissatisfied, you’ll continue to seek (food, shelter, a mate, etc.). This is why sometimes dopamine is referred to as the chemical of “MORE.” It keeps us stuck in a loop of perpetual dissatisfaction by design.
Habits are stored as a program or ‘loop’ that ties context + behavior + reward together into one neat little circuit. And this whole process happens automagically—meaning, without your conscious awareness.
Habits are stored in areas of the brain to which we don’t have conscious access. They’re tucked away in the basil ganglia and dorsolateral striatum, which are primitive parts of your brain responsible for basic life functions (like eating, fleeing, fighting and reproducing). They’re safely guarded and therefore, not easily undone.
But hold on—there is good news. You CAN deliberately create new habits (or reprogram existing ones). And despite what you may have heard or read previously, you don’t need incredible willpower, strict discipline, or near-perfect self-control.
You just need to understand the neuroscience behind it all.
The 3 Myths of Habit Formation
A lot has been written on the subject of habit formation. A quick Google search will give you a truckload of conflicting advice (including plenty from reputable sources). But much of this advice is misguided or misinterpreted.
So let’s examine the biggest culprits (aka myths) and see what the science actually says about each.
Myth #1: It takes twenty-one days to build a habit. (Or is it sixty-six days? Or ninety?…)
Science Says: It depends.
Specifically, it depends on the person, the habit, and the environment in which the habit is being cultivated.
The key is to understand and work with the basic habit-building ‘loop’ that is built into your brain’s operating system: CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD.
The stronger the cue (and/or the reward) and the closer the proximity of both to the behavior, the faster it sticks. But there’s no cut and dried time-frame in which this is guaranteed to occur. It may take you a week to build a particular habit; and it may take me six months to build the very same one.
Myth #2: The more willpower you have, the easier it is to build (or break) habits.
Science Says: Not true.
Willpower (the ability to resist short-term temptations or distractions in order to achieve a long-term goal) is governed by the prefrontal cortex. This region of the brain is responsible for executive functions such as planning, decision-making, working memory, and impulse control. It’s the ‘thinking’ part of the brain.
Habit-formation, on the other hand, is governed by the basal ganglia—a part of the brain to which we don’t have conscious access.
Sure, we can “override” an impulse that lives in the basal ganglia by engaging willpower, but this is an uphill battle we are likely to lose. This is why the research has shown that people who succeed at make lasting habit changes actually engage their willpower LESS often than the rest of us.
They’re not white-knuckling their way through the CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD loop; they’re working with it instead.
Myth #3: The more motivated you are to build (or break) a habit, the more likely you are to succeed.
Science Says: Not exactly true.
Motivation can certainly put you on the path to habit-change, but it won’t get you across the finish line if it doesn’t work with the CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD loop previously described.
And here’s the mistake that most of us make, courtesy of Myth #3: We assume that having a good ‘reason why’ (aka strong motivation) is all it takes to keep us committed to building (or breaking) a particular habit.
The science says otherwise.
For example: in a classic study on this very issue, researchers found that motivating people to take the stairs instead of using the elevator through messaging about the benefits of this behavior change (ie reducing electricity use and/or getting some quick exercise) made ZERO difference. Meanwhile, increasing the time it took for the elevator doors to close prompted about a third of people to start taking the stairs.
Changing the door closing time arguably IS motivation (”I’m motivated to get back to my desk faster”). But what the researchers really did was muck with the CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD loop—and, voila! Behavior changed.
So what’s the best way to build (or break) a habit, according to science?
A LOT has been written about this question as well—much of it, without any scientific basis.
So here’s what my advice is, based on guidance from leading behavioral scientists who have dedicated their lives to studying habit formation specifically:
Reduce the ‘friction’.
Habits are automatic responses. They don’t require thinking. Which means the more you have to THINK about the new habit you’re trying to build, the harder building it will be. This is what some behavioral scientists call ‘limbic friction’: the cognitive and emotional resistance we experience when trying to establish a new habit.
How do we reduce limbic friction? Make the gaps in the CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD cycle as small as possible.
In other words, make it as easy as possible to perform the desired behavior (and receive the ‘reward’), as quickly as possible.
If your habit is ‘go to the gym at least 3x/week,’ pick a gym that’s close to home. Have your gym bag packed and ready, your clothes laid out, and your coffee travel mug prepped so you don’t have to THINK when you wake up in the morning. You can just get dressed and GO.
Think of this like the prep work that a professional chef does before they begin cooking. They gather all of their ingredients, their utensils and pots, pans, etc. Then they peel, cut, slice, grate, everything and set up their work station such that all of these items are laid out in a logical fashion—one that reduces friction. So they don’t have to ‘think’ when the dinner rush begins.
Get wild with rewards.
This one starts simple: the more rewarding the behavior, the greater the dopamine response. But remember—dopamine doesn’t want you to be HAPPY; it wants you to be NEEDY and restless. Always on the lookout for your next hit.
So… go heavy on the rewards in the early stages of habit-building. And for bonus points, change it up OFTEN and without warning.
There is a great deal of evidence to suggest that intermittent (versus consistent) rewards have the greatest impact on behavior change. Work with this aspect of your neurobiology! Let the frequency and variety of rewards be the ‘neon signs’ that your brain needs to create lasting change.
Don’t let a bump in the road become a dead end.
Habit formation isn’t a linear process. In other words, focus on PROGRESS—not perfection. If you fall off the proverbial wagon, just hop right back on. Don’t even think of it as ‘starting over.’ Don’t reset your Habit Clock (that’s a thing, apparently). Just KEEP GOING.
And remember that every day you let dopamine flood a particular CUE > BEHAVIOR > REWARD pathway is one day closer to making it a habit for life.
