Three Things We Learned About Self-Love from LaNia Roberts
Three Things We Learned About Self-Love from LaNia Roberts
April 3, 2023
By Stef Ziegler
In episode 5 of the Be Marvelus podcast, we spoke with LaNia Roberts—an artist, influencer and educator who has taken social media by storm with her unapologetic brand of joy, bravery, and boisterous laughter.
LaNia shared her experience as a black female, artist, daughter, and friend; her struggles with self-love, self-acceptance, and depression; and how faith and art helped light the way out of her darkest moments.
We learned a lot of valuable life lessons from LaNia!
Here are our 3 biggest takeaways from the conversation.
1. Become your own best friend
LaNia learned (the hard way) that counting on others for validation, support, acceptance is, at best, unpredictable, and at worst, highly toxic.
“What I ended up learning is the value of going within yourself and having a relationship where you say, ‘They might make fun of you, but I won't. They might reject you, but I won't.’
I think that we're so afraid of rejection because honestly, what we're truly afraid of is the fact that once they reject us, we're gonna reject us.”
—LaNia Roberts
How exactly do you become ‘your own best friend?’
Start by seeking out activities that fuel your body, spirit, and mind.
Spend some time alone—not in a detached, cutting-yourself-off-from-the-world way—but enjoying things that you would enjoy if you were with your BFF.
And of course, make a conscious effort to treat yourself the way you would treat a best friend: with love, compassion, support, and gratitude.
2. Be ‘OK with sucking’ at times
Another lesson we learned from LaNia is that sometimes things are just going to suck.
“Work on giving yourself permission to suck at things—and for life to suck at times. Recognizing that there's just gonna be parts of your life that aren't going to taste sweet and give them permission to be salty or tangy or whatever it is.”
—LaNia Roberts
Getting comfortable with the discomfort in life is an essential aspect of mental fitness. That means accepting that “life is not toxic positivity. It's being in every emotion; it's having the rain and thunderstorms and the sunshine.”
And that’s all part of the process of growth!
3. Ask for help
For most of her life, LaNia did not ask for help. But going it alone kept her stuck—as it does for anyone who tries to soldier on alone through the dark.
“You have to get around people who can help you heal. If it's a coach, if it's therapy, finding someone who can be that ‘personal trainer’ in your life.
When you do that, you allow for yourself to begin to get into a state of surrender, and I promise you, in those seeds that you plant, you will receive what you sow.”
—LaNia Roberts
If you want to learn more about LaNia’s story or hear ALL of her tips on loving yourself unconditionally, check out her episode here.
